|
...
        
|
...Learning Disabilities:
Myth or Reality?
Doesn't Matter When Homeschooling
by Lenore Colacion Hayes
My family officially came to homeschooling
a little over 12 years ago when it was apparent that our son
(and only child) was not going to be a good "fit" with
any kind of organized schooling. Nigel was a difficult child
from the moment of his birth - actually before his birth! In
vitro he was an active night owl. He arrived via emergency cesarean
section two weeks after his due date, covered in meconium and
with an attitude that rivaled that of a tough labor negotiator.
This child rarely slept. He was an extremely alert little individual
who wanted to be held upright and clearly expected to be an active
participant in his surroundings. While my husband and I eventually
settled into our son's schedule, we still had lingering notions
that all was not right. Nigel just seemed too. Too loud;
too sensitive to light, sounds, smells, and touch; too clingy;
too wary of new experiences - he was just too everything. Our
pediatrician assured us that our otherwise thriving son was perfectly
normal.
Through the years, Nigel's behaviors waxed and waned according
to whatever circuitous path of development he was following.
He certainly was not abiding by the stages already outlined by
the traditionally accepted developmental theorists such as Jean
Piaget or Erik Erickson.
Of course, family, friends and virtually, anyone who met our
son, offered their expert advice on how to control this unusually
difficult tyke. The suggestions usually involved some type of
coercion and frequently bordered on child abuse. On one hand,
I didn't want to grow a fearful child, one who would be punished
for behaviors that, at times appeared to be beyond his control,
but I also didn't want to provide him with so much preferential
treatment that would lay a foundation for a future of overindulgence.
Life with Nigel got easier as he matured and developed the ability
to communicate with words, rather than screams.
When Nigel was three-years-old, we felt he could benefit from
social interaction with other children and we enrolled him in
a part-time preschool program. When that one didn't work out
for him, we enrolled him in another program and another one after
that! Within six months, three preschool programs asked Nigel
to leave because it was felt that he was unable to conform. Some
teachers simply felt that Nigel didn't try to "fit
in" with the children; other teachers sensed something more
ominous - that he was autistic and should be in an early intervention
special needs program. Nigel's pediatrician disagreed with this
assessment of autism, as did a clinical psychologist who specialized
in behavior problems in boys. In fact, neither of them could
pinpoint any specific disorder afflicting our son. The clinician
thought that he might be at-risk for Attention Deficit with Hyperactivity
Disorder (ADHD), but he was reluctant to proclaim such a diagnosis
on a young child. He did tell us that placing our son in school
would be like forcing a square peg into a round hole.
Quite honestly, we came to homeschooling by
default. In 1989, when we failed to locate that perfect school
for our son, we bought a few workbooks, enrolled in a private
ISP, and with our difficult and odd child, embarked on what we
felt would be only a few years of homeschooling until he somehow
"normalized."
The workbooks didn't last long. Rather quickly, we stumbled into
unschooling where we became seekers of knowledge pertaining to
anything and everything, depending on our moods, interests and
time available. We finally realized that the ideal school for
which we were searching existed within our own home and community.
Our difficult child evolved into an intuitive, empathic and relatively,
tolerant young man. However, there remains something uniquely
different about Nigel.
It had not been our intention to compartmentalize his being into
a formal diagnosis. I went to graduate school in clinical psychology
and realized that regardless of whatever diagnostic label could
be pinned to my son, there would be no magic pills or procedures
that would turn him into a socially acceptable "normal."
Nigel's greatest difficulty is with interpersonal communications,
particularly interpreting social nuances. Within the past few
years, we have come to the realization that Nigel has Asperger's
Syndrome (AS), a high-functioning aspect upon the autistic spectrum.
For the most part, we followed Nigel's path while also providing
guidance and at times when necessary, calculated obstacles designed
to foster decision-making. We subscribed to and practiced theories
of multiple intelligences and cognitive problem-solving skills.
Essentially, we focused on providing Nigel with the tools to
become
a thinking and caring individual, while he concentrated on reading,
writing, and experiencing life. Nigel is no longer required to
maintain "school attendance," yet it is apparent that
he does not feel it necessary to discard learning simply because
he has officially reached adulthood.
Originally published in the California
Homeschooler, June 1999
© Lenore Colacion Hayes, 1999.
...
|
